Realisations

I never thought of myself as vulnerable
I was always the weird kid though
Never on the same level as the rest
I thought I was cursed
Taken advantage of so often
It must be me… right?

These people know though
They can sense the vulnerability 
It’s their gift to facilitate 
Their manipulation 

Raised to obey adults
No questions asked
The black and white thinking
Of my condition
Left me no bodily autonomy 
Because you obey the adults
No questions
Don’t question
Don’t say no
It’s not your place
No matter what they do

Kiss your uncle you see once in a blue moon
But don’t talk to strangers
Hug that distant relative you just met
But don’t talk to strangers
Say please and thank you
Respect your elders

Where and how do you know
What’s inappropriate 
How do you protect yourself
When you can’t say no
Because it’s been drummed into you
That your discomfort means nothing
If the adult wants something

Listen to your children
Especially the neurodivergent
Because when you teach them
To ignore their discomfort to “fit in”
They lose the ability to know
When their discomfort 
Matters.

Abused in childhood
Abused as a teen
Abused by partners
Abused by friends
Because my discomfort
Is unimportant
So I don’t think it’s wrong
But it feels wrong
But it feels wrong when 
You’ve told me I’m wrong
To feel uncomfortable 

You see how this goes
Right?